Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Crying a River

The TV has nothing to offer to watch. It's Friday and boring. So, I'm "wasting" my time blogging... and trying to decide where to begin.

As you have all probably figured out, I'm in a relationship... but one that's going sour. No, we're not married, for reasons I won't go into just yet. One reason for starting this journal is so I can write down my feelings about us and how things have developed. At the moment I'm leaving this journal open, but now with proaccess I can close it so only selected people can read it. I don't have enough readership yet to make it friends/favorites only, so what the point of that, right? Signed in members only is an option, but he also has an account. But that's ok... he rarily logs in anyway.

Weeping Willow... Crying a River. No, I'm not that depressed, yet. But anyone who has experienced a love, a life gone sad will understand.

Where to begin. If I leave him, it'll be the 3rd relationship that I have left. Does that say something about me? I don't want to do that again. I don\'t want to be the one to say enough.... again! I had hopes in this relationship. But I'm tired of the broken promises, the waiting, the uncertainties......

Oh, dear.. now the tears are falling from the willow. So that's how my journal name came about, Willow Tears. 

Decisions to make, sometime within the next months (years?):

Stay and continue our relationship as it's been so far, or leave him and start anew. I'm no longer a spring chicken... at my age it's hard to find someone new, but not impossible (as I have also found heehee). Hey, don't get me wrong! There has been no cheating in all the almost 10 yrs we've been together! So keep those thoughts to yourself! Geeeez....

I did mention before that I have grandchildren. That will give you an idea of my age range.

The second decision is the move. IF I decide to move, it would be MANY, MANY miles away, with all the consequences that entails (far away from kids, grandkids, new job or financial disaster... you name it).

So, enough details for today. Any feedback would be interesting. I won't be online for the next hours so don't expect immediate replies. Sorry about that...

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